Empty Bodied Person

Can you feel it?
Pulsing through my veins at a hundred miles per hour.
How can you claim to be alive when all you do is stand in line
You dance when the people say dance,
You're dead face starring only forwards, you don't seem to feel a thing
If you cut yourself would you bleed?
I'm not sure who you are, or what you are.
Never open in your eyes, the second time
Do you feel when the sun kisses your cheek
Can you know what I mean, why are you still starring at me blankly?
Perhaps you are not alive, just a simple shadow passing by
On the wall, all you are is the paint that eventually peals right off
Have you ever known what it is to love someone.
To put your arms around a best friend and lean on them?
Are you even capable of comradeship, or do you only work alone?
I pity you, you empty bodied person.
What it must be like to never feel emotion.
To never know what it is to cry.
Little tear drops tragically slipping down your face.
Can you never mourn or scream, or shout for joy?
How on earth can you still be alive?
There's a difference from being alive and living.
You my dear are simply living, or getting by.
But to be alive is to feel the rushing water,
The spirit in the mountain and the rain.
All I feel is pity for a being like yourself,
Someone who chose to float with the current.
All you'll ever know is how to say "Hey." or "Hello."
To a bunch of people you don't really know.

Growing Up

So I had a dream last night that I was going to graduate today & I totally lost it. I sobbed for a REALLY long time ... I am completely petrified of growing up. Suddenly, there are 250000000000000000 new responsibilities and you have to know how to take all of that crap and turn it into something beautiful. I won't lie, I'm scared shit less. I have to be starting my new job soon, and drive, and look at colleges, and take the ACT all while having daily migraines that no one can seem to fix ... and still be expected to keep my sanity! I want to go to Neverland and never have to grow up. Wouldn't that be easier? Just to run away from my problems? I was never the type to run away from something that means the world to me. And I won't either. I will go to a good college, and fall in love with some great guy and have a full and beautiful life. No one can stop me, not even me, because there's part of me that can't wait to grow up. The part that made me go on Steel Venom just to shake myself so I can do anything. Yes I'm scared, scared I'll fail, scared I won't be strong enough, scared I'll ruin everything for myself, but let's face it, even I don't have that kind of control over my life. In the end I just gotta trust God knows what He's doing up there. Ugh my nerves can't handle this. I'm making baby steps, getting into the higher dance level, driving my dog to the vet, looking at colleges and trying to study for the ACT. It's not easy when my migraines make me feel like a different person, but I've got help. Just look at how amazing my friends are! Always there, putting up with me and my OCD self. I am pathetic. Always afraid to step out into the open, fearful of the people who I know judge me every single day. Ugh I'm working on it. I'm working out, practicing stuff, trying my best to get on top of my game. I'll be fine, I will. I've got my game plan. Well here's to hoping. This should be the week guys.