Is It Time?

I spend everyday in complete silence,
Not a word that crosses my lips means anything.
My missing you is the only thought in my head.
But maybe one morning I'll wake up
& that piercing dull ache won't sting as much.
All I seem to do is waste my time
Sitting in front of my computer doing nothing.
Love, it's said, changes a person forever,
Cripples them, destroys them, turns them upside down
Yet something tells me, it's going to make me better
More clever, less selfish, most honest, less tactless.
Is it time for my transformation?
Shall I arise from my seat & change the world?
Is it time?
You are all I want, nothing can take your place.
No movie, no show, no store, no book, no bear, no frog, no food,
No hobby, no friend, no pet, no flirt, no crush, no anything.
Don't you doubt that for one second.
You can chase after whatever hot waitress you see
Just know that at the end of the day, I still miss you.
One of these days, I'm going to be okay again.
Then I'll be better than I've ever been.
Is it time for me to grow my wings?
Please say it's time for me to fly.
Is it time?
No matter what I try to tell myself.
You're the only reason I can write anymore.
Inspiration is hard to find in the life I live.
Resisting  the urge to hop on the next bus to you
Forcing my hand away from my phone
Doing my best to leave you alone,
Because I know that's what you want.
Who'd have thought I'd be on my knees over you
If I had known what love means, how it feels.
Caution would never have ended.
Walls would have been built to protect me.
Yet, I'm glad to have known.
Because now, I have inspiration, now I have a spark
Soon I will build it into a flame
Then it will be time.
When this pain becomes strength
Forcing me to get up & change myself
Into the best version of me.
Rising up & reaching for the will to live,
& challenging me to love with my whole heart again.
Only then will I spread my wings & soar.