Growing Up

So I had a dream last night that I was going to graduate today & I totally lost it. I sobbed for a REALLY long time ... I am completely petrified of growing up. Suddenly, there are 250000000000000000 new responsibilities and you have to know how to take all of that crap and turn it into something beautiful. I won't lie, I'm scared shit less. I have to be starting my new job soon, and drive, and look at colleges, and take the ACT all while having daily migraines that no one can seem to fix ... and still be expected to keep my sanity! I want to go to Neverland and never have to grow up. Wouldn't that be easier? Just to run away from my problems? I was never the type to run away from something that means the world to me. And I won't either. I will go to a good college, and fall in love with some great guy and have a full and beautiful life. No one can stop me, not even me, because there's part of me that can't wait to grow up. The part that made me go on Steel Venom just to shake myself so I can do anything. Yes I'm scared, scared I'll fail, scared I won't be strong enough, scared I'll ruin everything for myself, but let's face it, even I don't have that kind of control over my life. In the end I just gotta trust God knows what He's doing up there. Ugh my nerves can't handle this. I'm making baby steps, getting into the higher dance level, driving my dog to the vet, looking at colleges and trying to study for the ACT. It's not easy when my migraines make me feel like a different person, but I've got help. Just look at how amazing my friends are! Always there, putting up with me and my OCD self. I am pathetic. Always afraid to step out into the open, fearful of the people who I know judge me every single day. Ugh I'm working on it. I'm working out, practicing stuff, trying my best to get on top of my game. I'll be fine, I will. I've got my game plan. Well here's to hoping. This should be the week guys.