Waiting For You

My phone is still now, no one is trying to reach me,
But I still watch it, waiting for you.
Deep inside I know you won't come back,
But my heart won't ever stop waiting for you.
You once told me you'd always want me,
But here I am waiting for you.
I mean it when I say I'll love you forever,
& I'll be around waiting for you.
Time will pass, seasons will change,
But no matter what, I'm waiting for you.
Others will come & go, leaving behind little messes,
But I won't care because I am waiting for you.
You mean the world to me, with everything we've gone through,
How can I not be waiting for you?
I can change my look or the way I act,
What won't change is my waiting for you.
Remember that picture you put in my wallet?
It's still there because I'm waiting for you.
3 years you waited for me,
Now it's my turn to be waiting for you.
Even if I find someone else,
A part of me will still be waiting for you.
You are the one for me, Handsome,
I can't help but keep waiting for you.
The silence may suffocate me beyond belief,
Until my last breath I'll be waiting for you.
Some things I can't give up on,
You are the one, so I am waiting for you.
Maybe you'll move on to another girl,
I'll pray you're happy & keep waiting for you.
To the edge of the world & the depths of the oceans,
Across all time & space, both here & there,
One thing can be true & it is that I am waiting for you.

Into Thin Air

Look at my face.
Has there ever been a face so hopeful?
My heart is racing, life has finally started!
But I trip on my self confidence,
Reaching out, but no one is there.
So I catch myself, cut my hands & bruise my knees,
Brush myself off & stand up again.
Look at my heart,
Beating so quickly, healthy & happy,
Drumming alongside his in a light hearted tango.
But I stepped on his toes a few too many times,
Reaching out, but he'd already disappeared.
So I catch my half of my heart, all tattered & torn,
Nurture it with love & hope, not missing a step.
Where are the ones who love me?
They vanished into thin air, leaving me behind.
Yet in this thin air I have room to breathe,
My wings have space to stretch in,
& my heart has a place to heal.
Into thin air they may go,
But I could never leave this place.
Riddled with loneliness & heart break,
Thick with disappointment & pain,
It reminds me of who I am & who I will always be.
The rest of the world can come & go,
Soon enough life will look up for me again.
You will look at my face
Hear my heart beat happily,
& everything will start over again.
For now I'll be stumbling & bleeding,
But you know I'll find a reason to go on.
A purpose, a mission, a love, a dream,
& the love, hope, peace, & happiness will never disappear into thin air.

Update on the Past Few Months

Hey guys!
So remember that post about how everyone used to have blogs?
Well I have 2 others so ... Am I a hypocrite? Yes.
Well let's see, I wasted a whole summer, fell even more in love & a week & four days ago, Mr. Messy Pants told me he wasn't in love with me anymore.
Boom. & it was over.
I've been trying to play it cool, I've been able to convince myself I don't care ...
Until I read words that he wrote himself, words I can hear him say, & it cuts me. SO deep.
But I am going to be okay.
Because my writing is back!
Finally. I have no idea where it went, but I'm glad it's back.
I've been writing to fix what's broken.
So here it comes, my come back. It feels so good to be able to say what I've been feeling without having to deal with the fact that everyone knows how pathetic I am, ESPECIALLY him. Because he's moving on already, & I am stuck here, like always. You know, this is what happens to me every time.
Last time, Mr. Messy Pants moved on & I was stuck in the worst time of the year to fix myself with what little I have left.
Let's hope that this time will be different, this time I will have a way to get out of my head & out into the beautiful world that God has blessed me with.
Are you ready yet?
Here it goes.