How Far?

How far will you go before you come back to me?
I'm willing to wait until the end of time
But leading me on like this is cruel.
My heart has been laid out for you
There's nothing that you've said
I try & try & try but you give me nothing back.
How far will you go, a mile, 2 miles, a lifetime?
Will you love me like you said you did?
Or was that just another beautiful line you gave?
I never thought you'd make me sit in silence,
But I suppose that's what I get
For loving you so deeply without a life line.
How far will you go, will you disappear from sight?
What on earth did I do to upset you so much
This silence is gold, because it's dragging me down
Far too heavy for me to be able to breathe.
I'm drowning in this silence, love, I'm smothered by your lack of words.
Are we going to fix this, or will my heart break once more?
How far will you go with your half of my heart?
Please bring it back, please come home to me.
Chills run up & down my spine, freezing me slowly
Where have you gone, my love, where have you gone?
I will be here until you no longer want me.
So please end this silence & speak to me.
Do you or do you not want me or love me?
I've needed you every night but you're not there.
I don't know what I'm going to do without you,
Because I can tell that this is not going to end well.
I won't lie, I'm terrified because I know you're going to leave.
How far will you go, love, how far will you go?
& when should I expect your return?

Being In Love

You would think it'd last forever
That there'd never be an end
Yet here I am sobbing into my pillow again
Because he doesn't love me anymore.
I'm wearing my, "Love is beautiful" t-shirt
& named my newest frog Love
Laughing in class & smiling at home
Because I'm using the love I feel to help me go on.
After I hung up that phone, I made a promise to myself
I'd wait for him forever or until he sends me away
Pain will catch up to me eventually
But for now I'll keep busy
I never thought things would end this way
Never imagined how it would feel
Because being in love is far too easy.
The bliss & the peace of it is way too inviting
You meet that one special someone
His deep voice of velvet & his eyes as soft as cashmere.
Without your knowledge he makes his way into your heart.
He makes you believe in love
But then he goes away because he's not in love with you anymore.
Then being in love is the most painful thing in your life
Because you still love him.
So you sit on the bus sobbing quietly into your sweater
No one wants to sit next to you.
Alone.
The one word you've been avoiding.
Being in love can either make or break you.
I'm not sure which it is doing to me yet.
Because I still love him with my whole heart
A frog named Love, around my neck
Being in love is something I'll always carry with me
All I can say is a cliche.
No regrets & thanks for the memories.

I'm Fine

I fell pathetically in love
So truly, so deeply, so completely.
Hell, I'm still pathetically in love
But I've convinced myself that I'm fine
Which I am, as long as I don't see him or hear him.
Even a single post by him & I'm on my bum again.
Keeping him out of my mind is like no longer breathing.
But honestly, no matter what happens, I'm fine.
I've never had a classic love story.
No mix CDs, no days spent in each other's arms,
He didn't write me a single letter, not a single thing.
But not having those means I'm fine.
He gave me no explanation, no reason for his exit.
That voice of his, stone cold & emotionless
My question for him? Did he even care?
But it doesn't matter now because I'm fine.
We went further than I really wanted,
It felt nice in the moment,
Looking back it makes me sick,
But there's no point because I'm fine.
Isn't it funny how different we all are after a break up?
He's not the guy I've known him to be.
Love is a fickle friend, morphing us until we've gotten lost in translation.
But he's moved on, & I'm fine.
Stop looking at me like that
Pay no attention to my face, arms, & legs.
No, I'm no hurting myself, don't judge me
But your eyes say what your words don't so just trust me, I'm fine.
I'm still in love with him, he remains the air I breathe
You can't tell, I'm an actress
With my head held high I'll cover up my flaws
But don't believe me when I say I'm fine, because it's a lie.