Have you ever thought about someone you KNOW your not allowed to think about? How about having a dream that makes you feel like you're on cloud nine, but involves someone you REALLY shouldn't be dreaming about? See my unconscious makes me dream about someone I can't have ... it's rather cruel actually ... But never the less it happens. I may not think about that person all the time, at the end of the day I'll hear a song & remember the dream & the person & ... well ... yeah. I guess I have a lot of those dreams. This dream was different than all the others though ... it was blissful. No romance, just fun. The day in Chicago, driving all other the place, spend all my time with my cousin who finally recovered, my grandma is well, my grandpa alive, swimming away from sharks & a friend to share it all with. ... I know to the world that sounds pretty lame but ... let's face it? What am I if not lame? Ugh I wish I could have that dream every night. Honestly. But all I can do is wake up to this world of complications & blames. I know that I have faults but sometimes I wish someone would take responsibility for what THEY'VE done to ME. I'm always apologizing for having a bad day, or getting snappy. I'm only human, right? I'm not an angel, I'm not perfect, I'm not much at all really. I'm just me. The girl who has too many problems. The girl who was worried about everything from the time I was old enough to hold up my own head. I'm not special, if anything that makes me even worse. ... But some many over look my messiness, they don't bother to look past the snappiness or the harshness. Everyone has problems so we should all take care of each other. I need to do more of that too but ... idk I guess I just wish someone would care for me unconditionally. Maybe the only time that'll happen is in my dreams.
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