Dreams

Isn't it sad when I dream about reconciliation with people I haven't spoken to in years? Last night I dreamed I was at my ex-boy friends's graduation & ... I can't even describe it. I made up my mind to congratulate him & we hugged & ... it felt like coming home. It was so good to look him straight in the eyes & not pretend to not care or act as though we'd never known each other. Things are much less complicated in my dreams. Who cares about the fact that I've been single for 3 years or that I would give anything to have some living soul like me & not be a fickle pickle about it. But see, there's the problem. Men are fickle. People are fickle. LIFE IS FICKLE!!! ... sorry. Let's just say that I've had a basically awful month so far. I WENT TO SEE OWL CITY THOUGH!!!!!! Unfortunately it feels like a dream so I can barely remember it. But it was amazing. By far one of the best parts of my summer. We went back to school shopping & I finally got a legit back pack & it's beautiful. Urg. I visit the University of River Falls Wisconsin tomorrow ... I'm not sure how anything is going to top UMD but ... who knows? I have to keep my options open ... or as open as they can be with the rule that I have to be some where close-ish to home. Brooke is mad at me for whatever reason again too. Honestly, it's really frustrating to not be allowed to be human. I was short with her because she flipped about my not inviting her to my birthday party. I hadn't figured out a date for the party, or even thought about who I was inviting, PLUS she herself told me she didn't want to go. This is not including the fact that she hates basically all my other friends & ... ugh. So I was upset that she made a huge deal about it & said what I felt & she's not talking to me sooo ... yeah. Don't you hate the waiting period between plans? It leaves you with too much time to think & when I slow down, I always find something is wrong with me. Today I couldn't even stand up without feeling faint & needing to sit back down. AHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ... I do believe I am going to go insane if school doesn't start soon. Well I'd best go. Ciao!