So boy update. I hate them. All of them. Well ... okay I don't but they suck. The guy of my choice is bad at texting ... aka he doesn't text me. Then, do you remember that butt munch I was complaining about a couple weeks ago? Yeah well he's back. It stinks. He is such a mess. He leaves & comes back every time. If only the man of my choice would do that ... ;) Messy Pants is irritating. I gave him my everything. My heart, my soul, my time, everything. & he blows it all up every time. Love. It tricks us, trips us, shoots us in the face, & then it picks us up & blows us up into the beauty of life. I am in such a state of messiness. I want love, I want to feel safe. I dreamt about meeting a guy & when he held me, my heart went crazy. It's been forever. Freshmen year. That was the last time I was actually held by a guy. Ironically it was Mr. Messy Pants. Not in the dream, but in real life. Okay I'm done complaining. I need to get out of this house.