The days pass & I wonder what it is I am supposed to do. I have severe stomach pains, & migraines every single day of my life. Yet I am expected to perform like a normal human. I am supposed to handle everything the same way, react & interact the same way as everyone else but there's one enormous difference. I'm in far more pain than anyone else. SO I've decided I'm giving up on boys. They are FAR too much trouble & if a guy comes & sweeps me off my feet & falls madly for me I won't stop him, but I'm done chasing, I'm done trying, I'm done pretending. Because at the end of the day, all he'll see is an image that isn't really me & so he won't love me anyways. Like in When Harry Met Sally... , they fall for their best friends. That's what I want. Someone to love me for me, not the girl I pretend to be. I'm going to try to win someone who doesn't want what he sees at first. Soooo ... starting today I give up. I'm going to live my life. I'm done waiting & expecting & wanting others to want me & love me. Screw boys. I am focusing on myself & the ones I love. I am going to improve myself until I am the woman I want to be, not the girl everyone wants me to be. Starting now. No matter what meds I'm on, no matter how horrible my family is, no matter what my friends do, no matter if some of my friends hate each other, I AM GOING TO BE ME!!!!!!!!!! Stick that in your juice box & suck it world. Today the sun was out & the weather was beautiful & yeah I had a REALLY bad day, but I found a swim suit I like, & I watched 3rd Rock From the Sun in study hall. That's got to count for something right? So now that I've said something like this twice now, I am going to try with ALL MY HEART to follow through. I promise on Mr. Froggy Face my one true love. I've got to get myself together & that's starts now. Here's to Spring Time 2011!