The Way It Is

I can still see that look on your face
That unbelievable spark in your eyes
I can still feel your arms wrapped around me
& my heart skips a beat.
To be honest, I never could tell a good lie
So I really must say I'm crushing
Don't imagine that this could be easy to say
Because I am so scared right now.
Who knew that this would happen?
That we'd just keep circling around?
Honestly I thought I would not feel this way
Yet here we are right now.
My stomach is filled with so many butterflies
Each one as restless as I
But I have to hold back, I really can't fall.
This has happened before & I just couldn't breathe
Up go the walls, to shield me from you.
It hurts but it's what I must do now
All too often I jump into all of that drama
I cannot get hurt, I must be together
That's why I could not look in your eyes.
That is my secret.
Because if I looked into them I know what I'd find
The boy of my dreams in those deep deep eyes
My heart would just crumble, the walls would decay.
Naked.
I would be completely exposed
Past experiences tell me that would be stupid
So I hide from your handsome face
Even still, my mind can't help but remember
That look in your eyes & I miss you
I long for your arms
The smell of you just makes me swoon
You've got me, though I really don't know how
Yet here we are.
I've been lying to myself for almost 4 years,
Lied about how the sight of you makes me feel.
No matter how I've tried,
You get to me, you get right under my skin,
Making my heart do jumping jacks,
While my stomach does somersaults.
So please just ask me to be yours,
Do all you can to see me again.
Because you're everywhere,
You always have been,
I just couldn't admit it to myself.
There isn't time to waste,
Please, please stay awhile,
& be careful with my heart.
Now I know, this is how it's been.
Let it be the way it is.