I wanted to be seen as girlish & delicate.
My bedroom walls are still pink because of that
All I wanted was to be pretty & popular
For all the kids to like me
But that wasn't me.
I was awkward.
Everything about me said awkward.
My body, my social skills, all of it.
All, but my voice.
When I was young, my favorite color was blue
I wanted to be seen as boyish & strong
Tough & powerful.
My face was hard to read because of that.
All I wanted was to be one of the guys
No tears, no weakness, only strength
Only then would I fit in with the crowd.
But all these wishes & wants never fit into me
My life, my heart, my soul could not fit in
I always end up defying all the edges.
Like a square, I can't fit into a smaller circle.
Strength isn't me, nor is delicacy.
Why couldn't I have seen that back then?
Time was wasted while I tried to blend in with them.
Now, my favorite color is green.
Everything I own is green & bright.
You can't stick me into one place, green is everywhere
On trees & rocks, on the ground & in the air.
Don't try to pin a name on me
I'm not delicate, I'm not strong.
You'll never really know who I am
Because I'm constantly changing.
Moving, flowing, melding, into someone new.
In the end I found I am my favorite color green.
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