It's a shame. A shame he never got to know me. Not the nervous stupid me, but the real me. Now he (I'm sure) hates me, & I know I shouldn't care ... but I liked him! I liked him since the beginning of 2nd semester. But I ran away & I screwed up, & I wish I wasn't so scared, but I am & I guess that means I'll always end up running away. I ran from having to dance with Alexander, I ran from Logan changing, & I ran from Isaac's intensity. I ran from Michael until he played me, & I ran from Andy & it's all my fault. I know that, but it wasn't even running from him as much as it was from the whole awkward situation ... I always run, or hide, or scare people off but I guess maybe I do it to see who will fight. But no guy ever has. I don't think Isaac contacting me once or twice a year counts as "fighting" for me ... ;P Ha, I lost my train of thought ... What I'm getting at is that, if he had gotten to know me, he would have found who I really am, & found that I'm just hiding or running like the coward I am & yes I know I'm not what a girlfriend should look like, I have big feet, & braces, & huge hips, & I'm pretty tall, I'm a clutz, I'm weird, I'm a nerd, but underneath all that unattractiveness, there's something that I think might be worth it. I can't be sure because I don't think any boy has ever bothered to look that far. So it's a shame. I think he & I could have been something, then again, I'm not sure of anything about him anymore, because to be perfectly honest, I juts don't know him. I thought I'd known enough, but I didn't, so all I can say is that it's a shame.
p.s. I wrote this, this morning at 2 a.m.-ish sooo yeah.