Selfish Attempts

I try too hard.

I try to be the best & I fail

Because everyone else has got it already.

I want too much.

I want to feel special but I don't

No one sees me as anything but ordinary.

So why not take the easy street?

Why not go to a normal high school where I would be special?

I'd still have to deal with home but hey!

For a short period of time, I'd feel special without trying.

You wanna know what I want?

I want to be happy.

That's all.

I want to feel like it's going to be okay.

As if everything I've done will make a difference.

No more feeling like I'm the bottom of the food chain

Make it okay, please help me make everything okay

I try too hard

Because all I've ever wanted was to be adored

To make the world see that I'm beautiful

I used to be the best, but now I'm just another

So I try even harder, to make it to the top

My attempts are all in vain & I have nothing left to give

Want to be happy, is asking far too much

Caring who loves me most & who I am on top of

Looking only to see who is looking at me.

It's far too vain & silly, so why should I try?

Time is too short to waste on selfish intentions

Feeling special doesn't mean having attention

One can be special to a friend or a child

All you have to do is simply give

I try too hard to make myself have worth.

So I give up & make those I love know their own.